Always be prepared, as they used to say in the Baby Lion Scouts. I live by that motto. Ever since they took my thumbs in 'Nam, I haven't been able to make fire on command. As a result, I will now tell you about the checklist that I use to travel in comfort and survive any long trek.
First of all, take every single tools that you might want during your trip - my basic rule to keep packing light is "how many things can I hold at once." Also, do not be fooled by the fact that some tools both smell and look like dirty socks. It is a trick. Pack it.
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| I can carry lots of tools. |
Next, make sure that you pack your bed. I always travel with two beds and two blankets, because I prefer to sleep on a pillow top.
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| I like my beds like I like my burgers - double. |
Speaking of burgers - snacks are important for any trip. I recommend that you steal food, because then it is more satisfying to eat it.
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| I stole this from my dog, Millie. |
Also, sometimes it gets chilly in the evening, so always make sure that you pack a jacket.
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| I only shop at Saks. |
Make sure that your pets are cared for when you head out on your adventure. Most pets are egotistical narcissistic attention hogs that are in need of constant attention.
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| When my dog begs for attention, I put on my paisley tie and ignore her, because I am a man. |
Most importantly, make sure that you have some direct and invaluable role in the actual transportation - this makes in invaluable and guarantees that you will not mistakenly be left behind.
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| I am the navigator, and therefore in charge of everyone's fate. |
Heed these instructions, and you are guaranteed to have a great trip.
