I've been keeping a weather eye on the bear situation for a while now. I observe them, I learn from them, and I hunt them.
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| Watching bears. Typical Saturday. |
There are a few things about bears that I can respect. One: they can find food anywhere, just like me. Two: They aren't afraid to crap in the woods, just like me. Three: they know the importance of quality sleep.
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| Hibernating. In a den. Bears got this idea from me. |
Though bears clearly have some things going for them, there are also some obvious problems. First and foremost, they are bigger than me. I don't respect it, and I don't trust it. Hand to hand combat often comes down to size and ability to grow body hair, and most people would therefore lose to a bear. Luckily, I am trained in the marital arts. Therefore, I make it my duty to hunt bears.
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| The General: 1, Bears: 0 |
That is all. Class dismissed.
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