How to: Artichokes are scary!

Artichokes intimidate a lot of people...let's face it, they are the porcupine of the vegetable world.  However, once you conquer your first 'choke, you are a pro'.

I never cut off the spikes.  "Chefs" and even some "cooks" will tell you that it is proper to cut the leaves for presentation purposes, but I think that's ridiculous.  It takes too much time, and the spikes will slow you down, and your stomach will realize you are full by the time you are done (before you reach for the Ben & Jerry's...preferably Americone Dream, but I digress).

Peel each leaf, one by one.  The little ones at the beginning and center are the hardest to negotiate, but do not get frustrated.  There you are, face to face with a concave leaf with a quill on the end.  Ooooo, scary!  Hold it by the spike end (though, I recommend, not directly on the spike itself).  Dip it into your sauce of choice.  Your goal:  use your teeth (upper or lower, I really don't care) to scrape the soft inside of the leaf.  See, that's not so bad!  Hurl all scraped leaves across the table at whoever dares to sit next to you (they are probably trying to steal your 'choke, so the best defense is a good offense and when it comes to food, family is the last group of people you can trust).

Eat your way down to the feathery stuff in the middle.  Artichokes have the same rules as lobster (and life, really):  Do not eat anything sharp or feathery, because it tastes like crap and gets stuck in your teeth.  So you are to the feathers and are feeling pretty good about yourself.  You aren't done yet, chief!  Use a spoon to scrape out the feathers (use spoon as catapoult to hurl feathers at aforementioned family).  What you are left with is the cooked stalk and the artichoke heart.  Dip that sucker into your dip and eat and enjoy!  Floss after the process is done.

See, I'm not so scary afterall!