Mom Memories

Ah childhood...for me, it was a riveting series of embarrassing moments, strung together by pearls of "hindsight humor."  At the request of many of my friends, these humiliating moments will be the pearls of this blog.



I am obviously the tard in the pink jacket with my tongue out.



I had a really odd dream about a swimming rhino and a baby hippo last night, which obviously brings me back to what I consider a similar moment from my childhood.  Let me set the scene for you:  I am a 6th grader.  I was at a new school and already facing an uphill popularity battle due to the fact that the uniform place had to special order my skirts due to my tall stringbean body type (sadly those days are long gone), thus condemning me to 5 months of wearing the uniform shorts, which none of the other girls would be caught dead in.

Sooo, one evening, I am watching the news with my dad (the only tv we were allowed to watch during the week).  The circus was in town, so they sent a reporter to the scene to interview the elephant man.  For the backdrop for this interview, they chose a giant pile of elephant poop with a bunch of people milling around.  At first nothing seemed abnormal...then a wave of horror quickly swept over me.  There, very clearly, my mother appeared in the background.  She was smiling from ear to ear and vigorously shoveling elephant crap into a wheelbarrow to load into our station wagon for our flower beds.  Any hopes of denying the fact that everyone that I ever attended school with knows my mother were quickly dashed when I noticed that my mother had my little sister Emma manning the wheelbarrow.  Emma was and always has been unmistakable....tall with blinding blonde hair.  Of course this was Jack's complete lack of surprise to all of my friends, because such behavior was "soooo Mama T."  As a typical middle schooler, I, obviously, saw this as equal parts shocking and unforgiveable.

The next day I got a mix of "your mom is awesome" and "how does your car smell?" at school.  The flowers actually looked great that year.  Good times at the circus.