Holiday cookies you won't want to exchange

It's cookie time!  Here are some easy, NO BAKE, delicious cookies that you can whip together in minutes.  Butterscotch haystacks! 

Ingredients:
10 oz. Chow Mein noodles (these are dry and crunchy, and in the Asian section of your grocery store)
1 bag of butterscotch chips
1 bag of mini marshmallows
3/4 cup creamy peanut butter

Melt the butterscotch in a microwave (2 minutes, then stir, then more heat if necessary).  Stir in the peanut butter til everything is creamy and warm.  Then, gently fold in the noodles and the marshmallows.  Spoon on to a cookie sheet lined with wax paper and throw them into the fridge til everything hardens.  Enjoy!

Stepping up cornbread, the easy eats way

It's chili and soup season, people!  No bowl of warm heaven is complete without some cornbread on the side.  As a Texan and a lazy overachiever, however, I do not stop with a simple cornbread.  I make cheesy jalepeno cornbread.  Delicious with a bit of sass, and it looks impressive even though it takes about 5 minutes to prepare for the oven.

If you have a big group or want leftovers, double the recipe (the recipe makes about 2 dozen muffins).  Ingredients:

2 c. canned cream-style corn
2/3 c. vegetable oil
2 c. dairy sour cream
1 1/2 to 2 c. grated Cheddar cheese
1 (4 oz.) can jalapenos or green chilies, seeded and chopped (most stores have diced canned)
2 pkgs. Jiffy corn bread mix
4 eggs, beaten
1 c. chopped onion

 

Preheat the oven to 350.  Combine everything in a big bowl and mix til uniform.  Grease a muffin tin or cake pan (depending on what you want), and pour.  Bake for 30-45 minutes til a toothpick comes out clean.

 

 

You fancy now

We spent our Thanksgiving in Cape Cod eating lobster, and you are now jealous.

I used to think we were poor because we would only eat lobster once-a-week when we were on the Cape. Oops.

Soooo, I got home and clearly craved more seafood to keep my mini vacation going in my head for as long as possible.  I immediately went to the grocery store, where they overcharged me for a fresh wild-caught swordfish steak.

Lesson - swordfish is the greatest fish on earth.  Believe it.  It is also one of the easiest fish to prepare, mainly because the natural flavor is so good (not at all fishy), and therefore you really don't need to have any skill whatsoever.

These are the easiest directions I will give you in this blog.  Buy sword.  Turn on the grill (you can pan cook as well, but I feel like grilling gives the best flavor).  After the grill heats up, throw on the sword and put a glob of butter and some lemon juice on top.  Close grill, cook for 6 minutes, flip, reapply butter and lemon, and cook for another 5 minutes, and it is DONE.  Serve with sides of your choice.  I went with quinoa with sesame oil and soy and raw carrots.

Defishious.

Baby animals are delicious

RACK OF LAMB.  Are you intimidated?  I know I was...since I am feeling feisty these days, I felt that it was necessary to make this challenge my bitch.  And how!

So, rack of lamb - go get you some!  I once again went with the farmer's market to my favorite "we only kill cute and delicious baby animals" stand and got a frozen 1-pound rack (about 8 "bones," since I don't know the fancy chef term - are they ribs?  I have no idea. There are bones involved and I like to eat the meat.)  Get them frenched, wherever you get them. Beware beginners, this doesn't mean smooch raw meat, or at least it doesn't in this particular situation.  Thaw the meat.

First, we will mix up a simple seasoning...take a bowl and throw in a base of extra virgin olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, parsley flakes, celery seed, basil flakes, and oregano and whisk it all together.  Put in enough where the seasoning makes the olive oil a thick herby texture.  I wish I could tell you how much I used of each, but to be honest, I literally pulled jars off my spice rack, smelled each of them, shrugged my shoulders, and threw some in.  There really is no method to my madness.  Also, make a dry mixture of everything except the oil.

Passed the smell test.

Pour the oil and herb mixture over the rack of lamb in a shallow baking dish.  Coat all sides evenly.  Next, rub the dry herb mix all over the rack.  Place the fatty side up in the pan.  Set it aside and allow the meat to reach room temp so that it cooks evenly.

Rub it...rub it good.

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.  Throw it in for 7 minutes and then turn the heat down to 300.  You will cook it for another 10-18 minutes depending on the size of the rack (that's what he said!) and what temp you want it.  I like mine rare, so I kept it in for about 12 more mins at 300 degrees.

Beautiful, rare lamb, and a really big knife.

Remove from the oven, cover with foil,and let it sit for 5-10 mins.  Then slice between the mystery bones and serve with a side of your choice.  (I went with quinoa, which I prepared with garlic.  I then threw in some "steam in a bag" veggies in, and then stirred in some cherry salsa to have a sweet, spicy, smokey taste).

I'm pretty much an artist.

Bears - Guest blog by The General

I've been keeping a weather eye on the bear situation for a while now.  I observe them, I learn from them, and I hunt them.

Watching bears.  Typical Saturday.

There are a few things about bears that I can respect.  One:  they can find food anywhere, just like me.  Two:  They aren't afraid to crap in the woods, just like me.  Three:  they know the importance of quality sleep.

Hibernating.  In a den.  Bears got this idea from me.

Though bears clearly have some things going for them, there are also some obvious problems.  First and foremost, they are bigger than me.  I don't respect it, and I don't trust it.  Hand to hand combat often comes down to size and ability to grow body hair, and most people would therefore lose to a bear.  Luckily, I am trained in the marital arts.  Therefore, I make it my duty to hunt bears.

The General: 1, Bears: 0

That is all.  Class dismissed.

Snow day soup - Creamy sherried tomato soup

Or cold rain.  Or sun.  Or whatever weather really, because it is THAT good.  I have to thank Elaine for finding this recipe...I have stolen it for my stomach and for this blog.

Ingredients:
6 tbsp butter
1 cup chopped onion
46 oz. tomato juice
28 oz diced tomato
1.5 tbsp chicken base (you can find this next to the chicken boullion in the grocery store)
5 tbsp. sugar
salt and pepper to taste
1 cup cooking sherry (you can find this next to the vinegar in the grocery store)
1.5 cups of heavy whipping cream
parsley to taste
basil to taste

Step 1:  Melt the butter in a large pot, and throw in the chopped onion.  Simmer over medium heat until the onions are transluscent.

Step 2:  Add the juice, tomatoes, chicken base, sugar, salt, and peper.  Stir, cover, and heat until it almost reaches a boil.

Step 3:  Chase the hound dog out of the pantry.

Step four:  Add the sherry and the cream.

Stir and bring to a simmer.  Add basil and parsley to taste and serve.  Thank me later, because this stuff is AMAZING.

An open letter to my fans - The General, guest blogger

ATTENTION!

Read this and learn, young bucks!  I have some very important advice. to give.  I will use my protege, Fritz Schnakenburg, to illustrate my points.

That's right, Fritz, drink this knowledge.

In order to make it in the world, there are some very basic rules that one needs to follow in order to keep up appearances.  In addition to eating the delicious and nutritious meals that my roommate outlines on this blog, one should make sure that he does his part to always command authority out in the world.

First of all, exercise.  This keeps you alert and ready to go to war whenever you are called to duty.  I, of course, am always on duty, as a decorated 6-Star general.  I like to take my dog for a run whenever I can.

Second.  Always match your belt with your tie.  Don't be a slob, boy.  Neither women nor terrorists respect a slob.

Third.  Do not drive a Miata, or everyone will hate you.

Your fist pump makes it even worse than it already was.

Fourth.  Make sure at the end of every argument that you force your enemy to beg.  This ensures your eternal dominance.

Out of fingers (they took my thumbs in 'Nam...bastards. I didn't have a matching belt that day).  Anyway, top off your day of dominance with a good night of sleep.

Break these rules, and I bet you will lose your thumbs (and respect) too.

I am watching you.

It's fall! Squash your cravings

What could be better than a fall veggie in the form of comfort food?  Well, pizza could be better, but if you HAVE to be healthy, cheesy squash casserole is a good alternative.

I like to use yellow squash because it is fun to slice and easy to pick up at a farmers' market.  Slice up about 4 cups of yellow squash, and put it into a pan with 1/2 c chopped onion.  Add a little water to the pan and cook over medium heat for about 7 mins, until theveggies are tender.

Here comes the fun part...take a tube of Ritz crackers (about 35 crackers), and smack the tube over and over with a spoon, rolling pin, sorority paddle - whatever you have lying around.

I had a little too much fun with this...

Pour the tube into a medium bowl after it is all smashed up, and stir in 1 cup of grated cheddar cheese.  In another bowl, whisk together 3/4 cup of milk with 2 eggs.

Mix half of the cracker-cheese mixture into the squash-onion mixture.  Add 1/4 cup of melted butter and stir everything together.  Pour the squash into a casserole dish (9 x 13, whatever fits).  Top the casserole with the other half of the cracker mix.

pre-cooked

Pop the casserole into the oven at 400 degrees and cook until the top is brown (about 20-25 mins).  Dig in.

*to make a healthy version, use skim milk, fat free cheddar, reduced fat Ritz, and light butter substitute.

**to jazz it up, serve with Sriracha or Tabasco, etc.

I ate mine with a ground lamb patty garnished with apple mint jelly.

Fabulous fettucini

Ok, so it has been awhile since the last update, and I apologize.  I have been busy eating things that I have already mentioned in this thing, so there was sadly nothing new to report....until NOW mwah ha haaaa.  Fettucini alfredo - easy fettucini alfredo.  It is delicious and fabulous and takes 5-10 mins tops.

The key is fresh pasta.  I went to a local farmer's market and bought some delicious fresh spinach fettucini. Aside from a far better taste, fresh pasta is also awesome because one serving only needs 1 minute in boiling water and it is finito.

In addition to fresh pasta, you also need 1/2 c of butter (1 stick), 1 bar of cream cheese, 2 cups milk, 2-3 tsp garlic powder, 6 oz. grated parmesan, and about a tsp of parsley flakes.  This makes 4 servings, so feel free to cut the recipe in half for smaller portions.

Because I am a fancy pants, the first thing I did was put on water to bring it to a boil for the pasta, and used  nonstick skillet sprayed with Pam to cook sliced mushrooms until tender (about 5 mins).  I set those aside.  I also chopped up some leftover rotisserie chicken and had it ready to go in the microwave.

I put a large pan on the stove and melted the stick of butter over medium heat.  Add the garlic.  I sliced the bar of cream cheese and added the pieces to the pan after the butter was melted (note:  it works better if the cream cheese is softened first - either leave it out of the fridge for an hour or pop it in the microwave for 30 secs).  Whisk the butter and cream cheese together until it is an even mix.  Then, whisk in the milk about 1/2c at a time, stirring each time til smooth.  Wait until the whole mixture comes up to heat, whisking regularly.  Throw in the parsley and stir.  Add the parm cheese, and whisk constantly so that everything melts evenly.  At this point, I added the mushrooms and warm chicken into the sauce as well. 

Throw the pasta in, cook per the directions, drain, and rinse (rinsing stops the cooking process).  Mis the pasta into the sauce and voila!  It is DELISH.

Update from The General

Well, last week, I was making my usual rounds following the hurricane.  As everyone knows, sometimes I take my meals in the woods so that I stay tough and maintain my survival instincts.  I ended up with some digestive issues, likely due to the fact that I mixed my survival meal with am impressive cardio performance.  To make a long story short, I underwent surgery and am currently recovering.  This reminds me of the time I lost my thumbs in 'Nam.

Clearly, the only option for me was to file a workers' compensation claim.  The insurance company has denied my claim - something about not being an employee yada yada.  So anyway, I am waiting for them to realize who they are dealing with.

Hurricane provisions

In addition to beer, wine, liquor, and unfortunately necessary drinking water, I have also prepared a massive quantity of food that will keep easily for a week in the event that I lose power.  The other side of the street has no power, so for now I am enjoying my a/c and my television now that my preparations for Irene are complete.  Soooo here we go: easy eats - island quinoa delight.

Cook 1 cup of quinoa (put the quinoa in a pan with 2c water, bring it to a boil, and then reduce to a simmer and cook until the water is totally absorbed - about 20-25 mins).  Once the quinoa is done, put it in the fridge for at least 6 hours to chill.

After the quinoa is chilled, take about 3 cobs of sweet corn, and cut off the kernals.  Put the kernals in a large bowl.  Add a can of drained black beans.  Dice about half of a red onio and add that to the bowl as well.  Add chopped rotisserie chicken (a great way to use leftovers!).  This is what the mix will look like:

Next comes the fun part - the shazam factor.  Add your flava in the form of mango tequila jalepeno sauce (or some variation thereof)

This sauce is what I call "sweet with heat" and really adds some flavor to the salad.  Don't add too much though, or it will overpower the flavors of the veggies and chicken.

Next, stir in your quinoa and mix the whole salad together so the flavors really spread out over everything.

Keep it in tuperware in the fridge til you are read to serve!

All I need to do now is figure out how to calm the dogs down since they ae staying rater attached to my side.

Granted, we have had both an earthquake and a hurricane this week...poor things.

No wake!

In honor of the exagerated fury of Hurricane Irene, I want to take my readers back to my childhood in Houston, Texas.  Houston, of course, is regularly subject to major storms and hurricanes, and since it is built on a swamp, it floods almost instantly.  As a child, this was basically like turning the neighborhood into a giant, awesome water park.  School would be called off and all the kids would immediately pour into the streets, meeting at Southside Park.  Generally, I would trek around the streets with my sisters, Kate, Will, Ben, or some combination thereof.  We would end up soaking wet, ant-bitten, and would dodge swimming snakes (most of which were likely poisonous, but eh, no biggie).  Then would come family time...

My mother, in addition to being quite a personality, is also an oceanographic engineer.  I mention this because it is important to understand that this led to regular use of nautical terminology in our household.  Anyway, she would dress up in her oversized (way oversized) raingear and bright red galoshes and station herself in the driveway.  Her activities for the day would consist of talking to the neighbors and keeping a weather eye out for large trucks.  There was, of course, no shortage of large trucks, because we are talking about Texas.  The trucks would usually drive down the flooded roads, and according to my mother, would cause large waves that would crash into and dent the garage door.  Therefore, my mom would stand in the driveway screaming "NO WAKE!" at these trucks, often including a combination of hand gestures.  I must admit that I quite enjoyed watching her throw the bird at a school bus driver (the bus was empty at the time). 

The point is, hurricanes are awesome so long as no major damage is done, and everyone should quit their complaining.  And remember:  No wake!

Favorite Richmond Restaurants

Since my life rotates around food, I have been carefully sifting through the culinary offerings of my new home since I moved here a few years ago.  Of course this list will change regularly as chefs and restaurants come and go, but here is how it stands as of today...

Brunch (aka the greatest meal ever invented)

Millie's - check out the soft lobster scramble, the Cajun Mess, or my beloved huevos rancheros with a generous mimosa and addictive coffee  http://milliesdiner.com/

Lulu's - I always get the salsa chicken verde chilaquiles  http://www.lulusrichmond.com/
Can Can - I crave the ham and gruyere crepes all the time, with a classy cappucino http://cancanbrasserie.com/0408_opening.html

Lunch - weekdays

My abs.

Kenn Tico has a DELICIOUS Cuban sandwich, and rumor has it that the mojitos are fabulous http://www.kennticocubanbargrill.com/

Moveable Feast - fresh sandwiches and salads galore - a great place for fresh options and I get a little too excited about their morning emailed specials

City Dogs - a whole menu of hot dogs?!  Awesome.

JoJo's - best pizza ever, quite possibly because it is made of 95% grease.  Don't forget to get the fries.

the carts - I am usually at Christopher's Runaway Gourmet or the taco cart for a pork burrito and fresh guac

Dinner
Dinner is pretty much equal parts food and drink for me

Best food, hands down, is Julep's http://juleps.net/ - get whatever the special is

Best seafood is Pescado's, China Street, where I highly recommend the fish tacos with a mango mojito http://www.pescadosseafood.com/
Best TexMex - Nuevo Mexico, a surprising little gem with generous margaritas included in a $2.95/rita happy hour
Best casual fare - Mosaic - I love the tuna salad and the seafood mac 'n cheese is awesome http://mosaicedibles.com/

Geese - again

As we all know, I have a long-standing feud with geese.  For some reason, I also always constantly find myself living in ideal goose habitat.  Growing up in Texas, there was the inevitable problem of dead geese mounted on walls as trophies (creepy).  Grandparents were in Florida and New Jersey, both living next to lakes.  College was in PA right next to a river, and of course law school was next to both a river and a lake.  Suffice to say, these little monsters had me surrounded from the get-go.

We want to kill you.

I adopted my first pup Lucy my second year of law school.  She was a mix of curious and scared of everything at first - for example, she attempted to play with a copperhead, which didn't end well.  The point is, I knew we were a perfect pair when I discovered that the only things she had violent aggression toward were geese.

Lucy, after an afternoon of goose chasing.

Who the F buys these?

It all started when we went on a run in the subdivision near the lake.  Obviously, the first offensive thing was the subdivision itself (I find sub-d's creepy, and nothing will change my mind so save your hate mail).  We are chugging along (well I chugged, Lucy pranced effortlessly), and all of a sudden Lucy stopped dead in her tracks and let out a full on hound howl.  I kept chugging (I had a lot of retractable leash to work with), and all of a sudden, Lucy took off like a shot.  Of  course, she did this by cutting directly across my path, causing me to drop the leash and take a nasty fall on to pavement, but that really is beside the point of this story.  When I lifted my head up, there's my dog, sitting in someones front yard, holding a plastic goose yard ornament by the neck.  In fact, she pounced on that thing so hard that the neck split.

I was bleeding and delighted all at once, and yet knew that I had to do the right thing and approach the proud owner of the plastic victim to offer to replace it.  Fortunately, the homeowner wasn't home, nor were any of the neighbors (probably at some subdivision Satan worship meeting).  Soooo, since I didn't have a pad of paper, I propped the thing up as best I could and got back to my chugging.

That event only empowered Lucy, who saw it as evidence that she would definitely win in a goose-Lucy showdown.  From that day on, she would swim, run, hop rocks, whatever it takes, to get to a goose with murder on her mind.  Gosh darnit I miss that dog so much.

Why I am the best big sister ever

Growing up, I was the greatest thing since sliced bread to my younger sisters.  My middle sister is 4 years younger than me (though obviously everyone says I look younger), and my youngest sister is 10 years younger than me (oopsy!).  Of course they are both thin and bleach blonde, and I am their shorter less fortunate brown haired sibling with rounder features.

Anyway, all I ever asked for from my parents was my own horse (a white one named Lightning), and an older brother.  So understandably, I had to make do with a stick horse and two younger girls following me everywhere and later occupying my Saturday nights in my roll as "free babysitter." 

Clearly I had to incorporate these little (taller than me) genetically similar things into my social life.  Since I was awesome, I let Emma play with me and my friends.  I would play Davy Crockett (and Davy Crockett's wife) with either Will or Kenny, and Emma could either be our pet dog or Russel's wife (Davy's sidekick, thank you Disney).  When we were alone, I let Emma hang out with me in my room in exchange for carrying the dead roaches to the toilet after the exterminator came (no, we were not trashy hoarders, we grew up in the swamp that is now Houston, and roaches there are the size of small dogs, AND they can fly).  Also fun for her was getting to participate in my carefully choreographed dance performances to the entire Beatles White Album (practice makes perfect).  She also got to participate in the role of "attacker" in my self-taught self defense exercises.  At Cape Cod, due to my fear of crabs and my concern that Emma not develop the same fear, I trained her by having her pull me around the water in a float for days on end.  Ohhhh she was a lucky lady.

Mary kindly arrived in the world on Christmas at 3:14 a.m.  Another girl, woooooo.  In addition to the initial disappointment that I again wasn't getting a big brother (or a horse), we were forced to stare at a mound of presents under the Christmas tree, which we were forbidden to touch, for 4 days, because mom was "tired."  We didget pizza for Christmas dinner, though, which was pretty sweet.  Mary, of course, functioned as a living doll, pretty much.  She is singularly responsible for teaching all of my friends how to one day be mediocre moms (members of my girl scout troop may or may not have dislocated her shoulder during arm swinging....not me mom!).  She was also a lot of fun to sneak up on and scare.  Being 10 years younger than me, she didn't get to have quite as much fun as Emma did as my younger sister.  But, she did suffer as an only child in my parents house for a number of years after Emma and I ran away to impressive colleges.  Too bad my parents ran out of steam after I graduated from high school...you kids got it so easy.

Emma of course can now (and occasionally does) beat me up (she is especially dangerous around feeding time).  Mary is half my size with twice my wardrobe.  All I can say is "you're welcome."

Kielbasa is French for "thumb" - General Kane

Here I am, thinking about foreign things.



As everyone knows, I am a worldly man who speaks many languages that are foreign.  I like to translate things for my roommate as she cooks for me and my dog.  Tonight, she cooked kielbasa, which everyone knows is French for "thumb."  I know how to say thumb in every language, since I have to know how to tell people that they took my thumbs in 'Nam no matter where I travel in order to avoid awkward situations.

I enjoy my kielbasa with red wine.  You can tell it is red because of the color.  Yes, I am also a smellier in my spare time.  People are jealous of my knowledge of life and travel.  Don't backtalk me, Hop Scotch.



Waiting for kielbasa with my dog, Millie.



Kielbasa: Looks like a turd, but it tastes absurd

I love sausage, and don't even try to take that to the gutter.  Sausage is one of the few fabulous things in this world that is perfect in any meal, no matter what time of day.  My two favorites are chorizo, and smoked kielbasa (for fellow dieters out there, they do make "Lite Kielbasa" now, which is almost as good as the real thing).  So, yes, let's speak Polish for a while.  My favorite way to eat kielbasa is straight off the grill.

Deeelish.  Here are a few other ways to get your smokey on:

Kielbasa stir fry

Slice up a mix of red, green, and yellow bell peppers, and some onions.  Sautee the veggies in a frying pan with some butter while you throw the kielbasa on the grill.  When the veggies are almost cooked (the onions won't quite be transluscent), slice up the kielbasa and throw it in.  Also, stir in just enough spaghetti sauce to coat everything.  Either serve over penne pasta, or eat plain.

Bad Kid Kielbasa

A favorite of mine (shocking).  Grill kielbasa and cook up some Kraft Mac 'n Cheese (or make mac n cheese from scratch, which will show up on here after the diet is over).  Slice and add to the mac.

Sweet Kielbasa

In a large pot, mix 2 cups of ketchup, two chopped bell peppers, half a chopped onion, a 15 oz. can of undraind pineapple chunks,and 3/4 c brown sugar.  Mix everything together and add 2 lbs. of sliced kielbasa (no need to preheat).  Bring the mixture to a slow boil, and then take the temp down to a simmer and cook until the veggies are done.

Light summer fare

Feeling both fancy and lazy?  How about some caprese salad to dazzle your taste buds, melt away the extra pounds, and impress your friends (or in my case, my dogs).

The key, of course, is fresh mozarella.  This is a MUST - sliced processed mozarella sucks for this, so get those big, round, gross looking moz balls and slice the heck out of them.  I also highly recommend locally grown tomatos.  I wish I could say "use the ones you grow in your deck garden," but I wouldn't know anything about that since stupid Kane has eaten every single tomato off my plants this year ugh.  Slice those suckers up too.

Season the sliced tomatos with salt and pepper, and then lay the mozarella slices on top.  If you want to add a twist, top each with a single basil leaf.  As other alternative versions, drizzle them with either balsalmic vinegar, pesto sauce, or spread a layer of red pepper hummus between the tomato slice and the mozarella.  Easy, delicious, and the only cleanup you have is to wash the cutting board.

My favorite hearty meal

As any good Texas gal, I love me some comfort food.  So here we are with my favorite meal, which is of course easy and delicious. 

What you need:  fresh sweet corn on the cob, ribeye steak, marinade of your choice, seasoning of your choice, dinner rolls, butter

Buy some sweet corn, preferably from a local food stand (the corn is likely right off the plant, and you can definitely taste the freshness).  I am spoiled rotten here in Virginia, because the sweet corn is so good that you can eat it riht off the cob without cooking it at all.  Of course cooking has its advantages, such as adding depth to the overall flavor.

I usually get my farm-fresh fruit and veggies from Chesterfield Berry Farm, right outside of Richmond.

Find yourself a nice, thick ribeye.  Track down whatever marinade you want to use (or if you like to show off, make it yourself).  I like using the JD Barrel Bourbon marinade, since it is a mix of smokey, sweet, and spicy (and seriously, as a general rule in life, you can't go wrong with Jack). 

Put your ribeye in a shallow bowl and dump a generous supply of marinade over it to coat the top.  Let it sit on the counter to marinate.  If you have a terrible counter-height dog like I do, I recommend letting it sit inside of the microwave so that it stays safe, since ribeyes aren't exactly cheap and watching that disappear down a canine hatch would likely vault me into the "bad place" very quickly.

While the meat is marinating, turn on the grill and let it get up to about 400 degrees.

While the grill is heating, prepare the corn.  Pull down the husks 3/4 of the way, and remove the silk.  After removing the silk, pull the husk back over the corn and trim any extra long pieces off.  Place the cobs into a large bowl of water...you may have to soak one end at a time and then flip the corn around to soak the other end.  You want to thoroughly soak the corn for about 30 minutes before you put it on the grill.

When the corn is done soaking, flip the meat in the marinade bowl to make sure that the flavor soaks into both sides evenly.  Throw the corn on the grill.  Basically, what you are doing is steaming the corn within its own husk.  The purpose of soaking it is to keep the kernals plump, to facilitate the steaming, and to prevent the husk in erupting in flame (I have learned this little gem the hard way).

I prefer ribeye, because it is thick, juicy, and the marbling makes the flavor a lot more rich and irresistable.

Leave the corn in one place for about 5 minutes, and then flip it 90 degrees, and cook it for another 5 mins.  After the 2nd 5 mins is done, flip the cobs another 90 degrees.  At this point, you also want to throw on your meat.  Usually beef is cooked at a lower temp, but the high temperature helps make pretty char marks and also gets the food to your plate faster.

Cook the steak on one side for 5 minutes.  Then, flip the corn to the final quarter, and flip the meat, and cook it for about 4 more minutes for a medium rare finish.  Take the corn and steak off of the grill, and let the meat rest while the corn cools down a bit.  For medium rare, you want the meat pink in the center.

For the record, it was really hard to delay eating this last bite for the sake of a picture opp...

As the meat rests, peel the husks back using paper towels (they are hot hot hot!).  Butter a dinner roll, and sprinkle some seasoning on top of the butter (I like to use garlic, but Old Bay is also delish).  Rub the butter side of the roll up and down the corn to melt and distribute the butter and seasoning all over the kernals (and also to give you melted buttery rolls!).  If you want to throw in a side of mac salad, potato salad, etc, that will finish off the meal nicely.  Dig in.

How to maintain a healthy lifestyle with General Kane

The key to life is keeping a strict schedule.  After eating my cereal in the mornings, I like to get some exercise by running the perimeter of the property with my dog.  This gets my blood flowing.  We then venture inside to see me roommate off to work.  It is then time for the morning nap.

This is me napping with my old dog Lucy.



Sometimes I was unable to nap with my dog because we often like to stretch out.

Following our naps, I like to record things in my journal (I dictate).  This helps me remember things when it comes time to do my accounting on Tuesday.  Ever since my retirement from the service, I have been a man of leisure with the exception of a brief stint as a forest ranger.  That's why I know so much stuff about stuff and why I am so comfortable peeing in the woods.

It is important to eat dinner immediately after my roommate gets home from work, followed by another run of the perimeter.  We then prepare ourselves for bed.  It is important to always regulate sleeping temperature using one leg extended from under the covers.  Try it, and you will thank me.

Temperature regulation